The Occasional Migratory Pattern of the Elusive College Student Manchild

 

It is spring season and as the weather thaws, so does the patience of the elusive College Student Manchild. It becomes restless at the 3/4 mark of the school year and seeks to escape the dormitory in which it had burrowed for the winter. So it calls home at 10:00 P.M. to say it’s driving home… through the mountains… pass the trucks… in a thunderstorm. 

Mom and dad quickly arise from bed and grab their Elusive College Student Manchild watching equipment: reading glasses and Life360 plus a glass of wine for nerves. 

They watch from separate locations, checking the screen every ten to 15 minutes as the Manchild moves along route 81. The car speed and phone battery life is closely monitored. Somewhere close to 11:00 P.M., the little car on the screen moves along to route 66, slower than normal – probably due to the torrential downpour. 

Eventually, close to midnight, Life360 indicates that the Elusive College Student Manchild is in the area. Mom, who is no longer holding her breath, has moved to the front window awaiting the glow of the headlights of the creature, then lifts the garage door so that light can draw it in. As soon as it enters, she drops the door behind it. She has caught it, and the Elusive College Bound Manchild is trapped in a tight hug by both parents. Upon its release in the house, it bounds for its upstairs lair dragging its dirty laundry behind it.  

It is a nocturnal creature, that Manchild. So it was glimpsed very briefly leaving in the late afternoon as it searched for other of its species. The parents again watched from Life360 as it flitted around the neighborhood and local establishments. They heard it return late at night from their bed, only to find it burrowed in again in the morning. 

Finally, on the third day, it made a showing. It came out of the lair with clean laundry in tow and hugged the parents as it prepared to migrate back to its dormitory. The parents again grabbed their equipment of eye glasses and Life360 and followed the reverse migratory pattern until it ended two hours later back at its point of origination – the college dorm.